Yesterday on the way home from work I could not resist the lure of the great Mister Donut shop. It’s a tragedy, really, that I must walk by each day and lucky that I limit myself to one stop, or fewer, each week.

Well, yesterday I couldn’t resist. I hopped into the shop, grabbed my tray and tongs and picked out a few donuts for Aaron and I. A little treat for the two of us.

They packaged up my four donuts neatly, and before I could get out the door, I had already undone the careful packaging and sunk my teeth into my honey glazed cake donut. The thing was so delicious and it was gone in about 10 seconds flat. Record donut eating time.

Flash forward about 30 minutes….

I got home and decided to take a bit of a nap before we went out for the evening. In addition to the pregnancy, I have been nursing a cold and really knew that I needed the rest. I laid down on my futon and tried to settle in. But then it happened!

A little flutter. A little bonk. All happening on the inside, right where the baby is supposed to be.

For the next 45 minutes or so, instead of napping as I should have, I lay perfectly still hoping to feel some more movement. Baby obliged, with the help of the donut, and gave me the thrills I was looking for. It was awesome.

I guess there really is somebody in there…

I’m pretty sure I have felt a few flutters before, and attributed them to gas, but this was the first undeniable that’s-the-baby movement and it came at 18 weeks exactly. Now I can’t wait until we can feel the baby from the outside, that way hubby can join in on the fun!

Last weekend we visited Kyoto with a friend. When we got home and uploaded all of our photos I was shocked to see how pregnant I am starting to look. Sometimes it still feels more like I am getting a bit chunky, but I think, overall, it is rounding out into a nice pregnant belly.

So yeah, that is me and my changing body. I am getting used to it, but it still surprises me. Even this morning, when I walked past the mirror, I did a bit of a double-take. I wonder if that will ever stop?

Today is a day that makes me feel like I should go out and buy just ONE more home pregnancy test. I know! Crazy!

At 16 weeks and 2 days, I know I am being ridiculous. I have 4 ultrasound photos that prove there is life growing inside of me. I have the round belly which expands more with every passing day, but yet, I doubt that it is even possible.

I have hit that mystical, magical second trimester. My nausea has gone away (completely). I have been vomit-free for more than two-weeks (excluding one incident where I vomited because someone else had vomited). I am able to stay up at night until a reasonable hour (9:30 or 10:00pm) and wake up at my normal time. The bedside snacks have disappeared. And many foods and drinks that I completely avoided, have started making a comeback. After nearly three months of getting used to my old pregnancy symptoms, I have found it sort of shocking that they have all but disappeared (totally knocking on wood!).

And now, in this moment, I really don’t feel pregnant. I am in this in-between stage. I am thankful to be relieved of all the troubles that plagued me in the first-trimester, but waiting, anxiously, for the reassurement yet to come. In a matter of a few weeks I should start feeling babies first movements. I think, last night, I may have felt something, but it might also totally be in my head. I would imagine that once I start feeling those tiny little kicks regularly I will feel without-a-doubt pregnant. Until then, the pregnancy is just sort of this mystical thing. Something that I know, in my mind and heart, is happening but I just can’t feel it. How can my body be growing a human without me really noticing?

So far as I can tell, I am growing this one HUGE by Japanese standards.

Each time we go in for an ultrasound, we have had four already, they take a measurement and estimate a due date based on that measurement. Of course, my initial due date is the one that sticks, thankfully they don’t keep bumping up the date just because the baby is growing a bit faster than expected.

Anyways, at the first dating ultrasound the baby was measuring a bit small and so my due date was assigned on April 7th. According to the calendar and my known ovulation day (I was basal temperature charting) my due date should actually be closer to April 1st.

At the second ultrasound the baby had grown by leaps and bounds (thankfully), based on its length from head to bottom it was scheduled to arrive by April 1st (right on target!).

Then, at the most recent scan, the baby had grown a ton! They measured his head diameter and now the computer suggests that the due date will be March 23rd.

Of course, the computer here is comparing my very American baby to their very Japanese statistics, but I can’t help but feel like I am just growing this monster child! It will be interesting to see what happens.

Part of me wonders if I will go in for a scan sometime in early March only to have the computer suggest that the baby was already born!

Last night was not a good night. Now, I know I can’t blame EVERYTHING on the pregnancy. And I know bad dreams happen even when people are not pregnant. But I can’t help but feel that they happen more now and that they are more vivid than my dreams have ever been before.

Last night I didn’t have just one bad dream, I had two. It was enough to make me sleep horribly for the entire night. And now, shortly after noon, I just feel tired. I feel crabby and I can’t wait to get to bed again tonight, hopefully without the dreaming.

I don’t know if it is even worthwhile to talk about the content of the dreams, at least I don’t want to too specifically. The first bad dream had to do with my relationship with my husband. The second involved a bad turn of events with the baby. I feel like I have been mostly calm about both of these things recently. I am starting to feel more settled as a pregnant woman, a pregnant wife and a future mother.

I truly believe that I am not worrying as much, but is my subconcious doing more worrying than I know about? How can I make it stop? I really can’t handle waking up already feeling like a mental and emotional wreck, falling into the loving arms of my husband crying only moments after we both wake up, and wanting the day to be over shortly after it has begun. Yuck!