Last night as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, Little R started to kick. Bedtime tends to be Little R’s most active time, so that wasn’t really much of a surprise, but the reaction it triggered was.

With each little kick I began to get more and more worried. My mind started to flood with all the fears and anxieties over being pregnant and becoming a mom. I started worrying about all the little things, the preparations we still must make, whether we can really do this, etc. Before I knew it, I had dissolved into a puddle of tears, entirely overwhelmed by the enormity of what those little kicks meant.

Luckily, my husband was lying there beside me and was able to reassure me that we can, in fact, do this. That it might be tough, but we will be ok. Once I was over the emotional waterfall, we moved on to talking about the lighter side of parenthood.

We started reminiscing about all those things our parents have said over and over through the years and laughing about the fact that our own little baby will probably be joking about all the silly things that we will say to them someday. We talked about all those things that we hope we never catch ourselves saying, and the things that we know are inevitable. We know we will come up with our own catch-phrases as well, but we are pretty sure that a few from our childhoods have stuck. Like these ones:

“Life’s an education, and you just paid tuition.” (This is said whenever a mistake in life ends up costing money)

“That guy should have left ten minutes earlier.” (In reference to people driving to fast)

“I’m not happy.” (Self-explanatory)

“You’re a rude, crude, nude, dude.” (Said while chasing the naked youngster round the dining room table)

“I brought you into this world, I can take you out.” (Used when the slightly older and less impressionable youngster makes a particularly poor decision)

“You can’t always get what you want.” (Self-explanatory, sang to the tune of the popular song with the same lyrics)

These are all things that one of us heard countless times throughout our childhoods, things that are so ingrained that we will almost certainly repeat. I really do wonder if our youngster, 20 years from now, will find themselves saying the same things and shaking their heads in disbelief.

I have had many examples of pregnancy brain the past few weeks, but today was perhaps the most stunning example.

After work today I got onto the bus, just as I usually do. About ten seconds into the ride I started getting this sneaking suspicion that I was forgetting something. I took out my calendar just to take a quick peek and double check things. I opened up my calendar and took a quick peek at Wednesday. And, despite my sneaking suspicion, I was relieved to find that my schedule for Wednesday was clear.

I closed my planner, put it back into my bag and sat back to enjoy the rest of my ride to the station. Until, just a minute later I realized, today isn’t Wednesday at all! It’s Thursday!

As soon as I figured out the correct day of the week, I realized that I did, in fact, have something to do on Thursday. My Japanese teacher was going to be picking me up after school. So, I pushed the button to make the bus stop and got off. I was only two stops away from where I got on and I walked, as quickly as possible, back to school.

My teacher was there, waiting for me, and we both got a good laugh out of my forgetfulness. Then, during our class I explained to her the phrase, “pregnancy brain,” and asked if there was an equivalent phrase in Japanese. As it turns out, there isn’t. Apparently it is solely an American phenomenon. So here I cannot blame my stupidity on the infamous pregnancy brain, instead I have to take full responsibility myself. It’s a shame actually.

The belly is definitely growing, each day I look down I feel like it is substantially bigger than the last time. But it really becomes obvious when I compare belly pictures.

That’s me at 10 weeks. Nearing the end of my first trimester.

This is me at 21 weeks. Just a few weeks away from the third trimester. It’s definitely bigger and starting to affect little things like the way I walk, the way I sleep, and how quickly I can get around. I’m sure that my size will only continue to impact my life as this pregnancy progresses, but I hope that I can stay as comfortable as I am right now.

Aside from difficulty sleeping (can’t get comfortable, wake up many times to pee), the accompanying fatigue, and some heartburn I have few physical complaints. I do, occasionally get some pretty awesome calf cramps, but I am able to quickly get those under control with some stretching and movement.

Actually, for the time being I am feeling pretty good. Pretty comfortable. I am enjoying this second trimester, just as everyone said I would.

So, in the last few weeks since the first Mister Donut inspired kicks, we have been treated to many more. I feel very fortunate that I am able to feel the baby move daily. It is reassuring to know that our little person is in there, doing well.

But now, we are able to feel them from the outside as well. The first time we were able to feel Little R’s thumping from the outside was while we were watching the election coverage last week. First we watched Obama’s victory speech and the little one started to dance. Then we watched McCain’s concession speech and Little R’s kicks got even stronger. I rolled over onto my back and we both put our hands on my tummy and we could feel those tiny thumps, those little kicks together. 

We still aren’t sure whether this is an early indicator of Little R’s dislike of McCain, trying to kick him away, but we are definitely hoping that by witnessing this historic election in utero that Little R’s political views are already starting to take shape.

As the baby kicks get a little stronger and I share the news with all the students at my school this whole pregnancy/impending baby thing keeps getting more and more real. What’s really fun is how excited everyone seems to be for us (even when my excitement wavers and I start to get a little scared). So many people, friends and family and colleagues and mere acquaintances, are eagerly anticipating this arrival and are happy to be a part of our joy.

Four of my students, four wonderfully delightful girls in the first year at the high school I teach at, decided to surprise me and share their excitement about our baby. Today, at the end of class, the girls came up to me and gave me this beautiful poster that they had made to congratulate me.

Never mind the misspelling, they are just learning English after all. The gesture itself was enough to bring the hugest smile to my face and a bit of a tear to the corner of my eye. It is so nice and reassuring to know that so many people are behind us in this journey. I know that all those people will be there to support us when we waver, when we don’t believe in ourselves. Right now they are our village, and I am hoping that as baby grows he/she will have a village of his/her own.