DISCLAIMER: So, before anybody out there starts panicking. No, the baby hasn’t been born yet. It is still inside my belly, just as it should be at this point. Right where we are hoping it will stay for another 3 months or so. The title of this post refers more to my frame of mind about the baby, and some helpful words of wisdom from a friend, than its actual whereabouts.

Alright. Now that that is out of the way, let’s continue.

I have found myself thinking a lot about what I want to do or what I must do now, before the baby actually comes. I have also been lamenting over some of the things I want to do, but already find myself unable to do, since it won’t get any easier once the baby is here.

Sleeping, for example. I know that newborns need 24-hour parenting. They don’t enter the world ready to sleep through the night because that is not what is best for them, their health and their development. I recognize this, so I know how important it is for me to get my rest now. To sleep well now, before I have a little person that wants to be fed, changed and comforted throughout the night.

Despite wanting, desperately, to sleep well through these last few months of pregnancy, it seems as though it is going to be near impossible. Already, sleeping is becoming more difficult for a number of reasons.

First, I sleep on the floor. Yes, we have lovely futons and memory foam pads, but it is still the floor. It isn’t the floor, specifically, that is the problem. It is more the fact that getting up and down from the floor is becoming increasingly difficult. Now, if I could sleep throughout the entire night without waking, it wouldn’t be so much trouble, but let’s face it, that simply isn’t possible because of reason #2.

Second, I have to pee, a lot. I try to stay hydrated, knowing that it is important for my health and my babies health, but that means I need to make anywhere from 2-4 trips to the toilet each night. Getting up to go to the toilet that many times is disruptive no matter what your sleeping location, but getting up from the floor that many times is even more so. There is grunting and heaving and trying to stabilize myself as I get up slowly (this must be done slowly to avoid the inevitable lightheadedness that results from getting up too fast). Since it is such a process, it takes more time and makes getting back to sleep that much more difficult. Fortunately, my husband usually makes a trip or two himself. Now, when he gets back he offers to help me up. This really does help simplify the process for at least one toilet trip each night.

Third, my preferred sleeping position is not an option. I have always been a stomach sleeper and now I have had to find other ways. I bought a wonderful pregnancy pillow designed to help me sleep comfortably on my side  and it does help considerably (I sleep much better with it, on the floor than I did with just two pillows when I was sleeping at a hotel a few weeks ago). Still, side sleeping just doesn’t do it for me. My hips and shoulders get sore, I find that I am constantly in need of adjusting my position. I try to flip myself each time I go to the toilet, and for awhile that was enough. But now I find that I need to switch sides even more throughout the night. Each switch involves flipping the big pregnancy pillow, scootching to the other side of the bed, and reorganizing the covers. It’s a process.

I mentioned this all to a friend a few days ago. Telling her all the things I wanted to do before the baby came, and how frustrated I was that I wasn’t able to. She, being a mother of two grown children herself, said something that seems so obvious, but was quite interesting for me to hear.

“Danielle, the baby is already here,” she said.

“No it’s not. It’s just inside. It won’t be here until March, at least,” I countered.

“No, really, it’s already here. You are already a mother and your baby is already changing your life, as it should. Don’t be upset about all the things you want to do before the baby comes, it’s too late for that. Embrace your life as a mother now, and accept that it is never going to be the same.”

Somehow I had never really thought about it that way, and having her say it to me, in such a gentle, yet matter-of-fact, way really helped.

So, the baby is here. As we speak Little R is thumping away inside me. Kicking the edges of my belly and having a grand time. Sure, things will change even more once the baby comes out, but for now I am going to work on embracing and accepting all the things that have already happened, all the changes that have already occurred for our little one.