Yesterday we had a bit of a scare. I won’t say that it is the first time that I totally, completely freaked out and fell to pieces because I was worried and concerned about the baby, and I know that it most certainly won’t be the last. I think that just goes with the territory of being a Mom, especially a new, first-time Mom. This is a tough world and even though the baby is so very, very small and being carefully sheltered inside my belly, I worry about him/her and feel totally and completely responsible for Little R’s well-being.

Now, after a New Year’s Eve visit to the doctor and being shown (on ultrasound) that everything is okay, I am glad and thankful that sitting here on the first day of the year, I know that we are all okay and that this is the year that we will meet our little person, we will welcome our first baby into the world.

So, here’s what happened.

On the 30th of December we returned to our home in Japan after a 5-day trip to Kyushu. The train trip from Nagasaki would have been about 6 and a half hours long, but our trip was delayed (computer problems) and it ended up taking almost 7.5 hours. I was cooped up and uncomfortable from being stuck on a train all day, but at least the baby was keeping me endlessly amused. Moving all over the place, so much so that I was able to just sit and watch the belly as it thumped and bumped around.

Over the past few weeks I’ve become quite fond of Little R’s moving about. I have gotten to know the pattern and come to expect an appearance at various times. The most active times are always when I wake up in the morning, after each meal, and before I go to bed at night. I find the movements reassuring. They are a little reminder that he/she is in there and doing just fine.

Well, yesterday things were a bit different. I felt the baby move at about 4am when I went to the toilet. But then it got a little strange. I didn’t feel the baby move when I woke up in the morning. Or after my bowl of delicious oatmeal. It didn’t distract me from spinning during the afternoon and it didn’t give so much as a single thump after lunch. I started worrying a bit, but also didn’t allow myself to get too nervous or worked up. After all, it was almost certain that everything was okay.

Then at about 4pm, after almost 12 hours of not feeling a thing, I decided to go have a little rest so that I would be able to make it to the New Year. Laying down in bed almost always gets Little R to dance around, but this time, no luck. After fifteen minutes of laying there, still and paying attention to my belly (I will also totally admit to poking the belly, trying to wake the baby up) I began to be consumed with worry. I told my husband that I was concerned and he, despite being concerned as well, did his best to be my rock.

Ultimately, I decided to consult my Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. I looked at the section at the back on Fetal Movement, which then directed me to a section about Decreased Fetal Movement. Once I started reading it, I totally and completely dissolved. It said that most babies move about 4 times in an hour and that if you haven’t felt your baby for more than 4 hours (after doing some self-care, which means lying about, sitting still and really paying attention) you should really get checked by your doctor, since decreased fetal movement can be a sign that babies oxygen supply is compromised and that he/she is in danger.

Here I was, lying in bed after not feeling it for more than 12 hours, reading a section of a book that said I should have sought medical attention more than 8 hours earlier. I was scared that something had gone wrong, that somehow I hadn’t listened early enough, and that it was possible that I, being the sole person physically responsible for the safety of this baby at this moment, would somehow be at fault for not paying attention sooner.

All these thoughts flashed through my head and it wasn’t long before I had dissolved into a puddle of tears and worry. A, being the strong supportive husband that he is, was able (despite his own worry) to pick me up and help me develop a plan.

We had a Japanese friend of ours call the clinic to explain the situation and ask if it was possible to come in for a quick check-up despite it being New Years, the BIGGEST holiday of the year in Japan. They told us to come in and about 30 minutes later, after quick showers and a rather somber walk, we were there.

The nurse had me lie on the table and she prepared me for the ultrasound, she phoned the doctor (who happens to live next door) and told him that I was there. He came in and put the cold ultrasound probe on my belly. It took him mere seconds to find our little babies heart and to proclaim that it was “genki.” Genki in Japanese roughly translates as energetic, or well. He continued to check other things, the oxygen level and the umbilical cord and everything seemed to be okay. I, meanwhile, had dissolved again into a puddle of tears on the table, but this time they were happy and relieved tears. It was so good to see the baby and be reassured that everything is ok.

Now, as I am typing this long, long post, I am being reminded that things are still fine. The baby is thumping away a little stronger than usual. Probably because he/she had such a nice little rest yesterday. It is good, we are good, and I am so thankful that today, on New Years Day, we all seem to be healthy and okay.

The only thing left to decide is whether or not the Mayo Clinic Guide has to be hidden from me . . .