Making a life that's more with less.
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Hopefully this won’t be the last time that I have the chance to write a blog post proclaiming the fact that I woke up this morning, at about 6:30am, feeling like my old self. I felt bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, just like the morning person I usually am.
Now, I don’t expect this to continue every night. I know we will probably have a few setbacks, but it was still a great night and it is awesome to feel rested.
Here’s how it went down…
8:40-8:50 – Bath Time
8:50-9:00 – Drying Off and Getting Dressed
9:00-9:30 – Nursing
9:30-12:40 – Sleep!
12:40-12:45 – Diaper Changing
12:45-1:05 – Nursing
1:05-1:15 – Burping and Rocking
1:15-3:15 – Sleep!
3:15-3:20 – Diaper Changing
3:20-3:40 – Nursing
3:40-3:45 – Burping and Rocking
3:45-6:35 – Sleep!
6:35-6:40 – Diaper Changing
6:40-7:10 – Nursing
7:10 – Awake and Starting the Day
So, almost eight hours of sleep. Sure it came in smaller chunks, but last night was the first time that we got two chunks of sleep that were almost three hours long! Thank goodness and I hope this continues!
It is also worth noting that right now, as I am writing this entry, Ewan is napping. In his own bed. This is the first time since we got him home that he is actually doing this. In part he never napped in his own bed because we didn’t really want to put him down. In part it was because he was much happier to do so while in the sling. I think it is a good thing that he is able to sleep in many places and many different ways. It will help to be sure that he is flexible and able to keep up with Aaron and I and our active, ever-changing lifestyle.
Posted on March 31, 2009. 1 comment
Aside from on our chests, there is one other place that Ewan loves to be. He loves to be in the sling. He enjoys riding around and joining Aaron and I as we go about our usual business around the house. He is perfectly content to watch and listen as we do our usual chores and it really helps us to get things done when we can wear him and have both of our hands free.
Now that he is more alert, it is even more fun as he sits in the sling and looks up at us or out at the world. I find myself having more and more conversations with him while he is in there. It really is quite fun!
Posted on March 30, 2009. 1 comment
Everyone told us that these first few weeks would be all about survival. Doing whatever we needed to get enough rest and make it through. Honestly, after hearing so many parents talk about how tough these first couple of weeks can be, we were expecting much worse. So far, it hasn’t been so bad. Perhaps we have a really mellow baby. Perhaps the worst is yet to come. Perhaps we are lucky because I have an uncanny ability to fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Who knows, but we are relieved that things have been going so smoothly.
One of the ways we are managing to survive is by giving Ewan a chance to sleep in his favorite spot.
This is where he is supposed to sleep:
His infant futon is placed right in the middle between Aaron and I’s. We wanted him there where we could both monitor and watch him through the night. Not to mention the fact that it is so nice to both be able to snuggle and comfort him when he stirs. Even though he is very close to us when he is on his own futon, he doesn’t particularly like it there.
This is where he prefers to sleep:
When he is sleeping on his own futon, he will rest for about an hour and a half to two hours MAX. When he is sleeping on my chest, or Aaron’s for that matter, he will usually rest for a solid three hours.
And, we all know that when baby rests, Mama and Papa can rest. So, I think the choice is pretty clear.
Our families sent us some baby pictures of Aaron and I. It has been a lot of fun looking at them and comparing ourselves to our little Ewan. Trying to figure out who he looks like.
So, what do you think?
From L to R: Danielle, Ewan, Ewan, Aaron
Posted on March 25, 2009. 2 comments
A few days after Ewan was born, my dad pointed out to me that his birthday, 3/3/09, was also square root day.
Then, Ewan was released from the hospital on 3/14, pi day.
Is this a sign? Do we have a mathematician in the making?
Before I became pregnant I always thought that I would breastfeed my child. I had watched my two sister-in-laws successfully breastfeed all their kids and it just seemed the most simple and natural way. Human milk for human babies. Once I became pregnant and began doing research about breastfeeding, I became even more convinced and adamant that it was the best choice for our son and our lifestyle. Imagine my disappointment, then, when he spent his first seven days in an incubator. Not only was I unable to hold my child, I was unable to nourish him the way I wanted to and I thought that the hope of doing so in the future was drifting away with every bottle of formula that he received.
At the advice of a La Leche League Leader I pumped, every two or three hours, but got quickly frustrated and disappointed when nothing happened. I was reassured that producing milk wasn’t the priority at that point, instead it was important just to stimulate the breasts to be sure that they would be ready when Ewan was.
Once Ewan was out of his incubator I was given the chance to breastfeed him. Again, I was disappointed because he seemed so completely uninterested. Now, in retrospect, it seems perfectly natural for him to be uninterested. After all, there was practically nothing available for him when he sucked, so he got no reward and quickly gave up.
Add to that the fact that we were in a hospital, I was still separated from my boy for most of the day, and a total stress case. Needless to say, these aren’t the prime conditions for establishing a breastfeeding relationship.
I left the hospital with Ewan in my arms lacking the confidence I needed to really breastfeed. I was still getting very little from the pump and he was still showing a definite preference for the bottle.
Well, we had a few days of heartache, and lots of tears, at home as he and I were trying to get breastfeeding established and he repeatedly refused the breast or drew away after only a few sucks, we are finally making progress. And, dare I say, we are on our way to having an exclusively breastfed boy.
For now the routine has been this. I try breastfeeding, then Aaron gives him a supplement (either formula or expressed milk) and while he is getting the supplement I pump to empty the breast. This routine means that each feeding, with diaper changes, generally exceeds an hour. Recently I have also added a pumping session or two to simulate additional feedings to increase the supply. Well, after doing this for several days Ewan finally clicked (and so did my milk supply).
Now Ewan is breastfeeding for about 20 minutes, sometimes more, each time he tries. He does need some coaxing and I have found that having a cool towel to wipe his brow works wonders. After nursing Ewan is still getting his supplement while I pump. Each time I pump I am able to get an average of 20-30ml in 15-20 minutes and every day I am collecting more expressed milk than the day before. Right now about 50% of the supplements he receives are coming from expressed breast milk.
We are starting to consider how and when to eliminate the supplements since he is starting to not finish them and even refuse them! Sometimes I feel that he is taking the supplement simply because it is so easy to get it from the bottle, not necessarily because he is hungry.
We have a doctor appointment on Monday, it will be good to go and see how much Ewan has grown while he has been in our exclusive care. Once I am reassured that he is, in fact, growing on my milk, I will have a bit more confidence to try getting him off the supplements entirely. I am eager to do so simply to streamline our feeding process which, for now, is long and exhausting. We are willing to do it, of course, because we feel it is best for him, but would like it to end as soon as possible.
So, there you have it! Finally, things are starting to come together and I am starting to feel that I will be able to breastfeed as I always imagined I would. For awhile there, I was starting to think that it wasn’t going to be possible, but thanks to all the support and encouragement I received from family, friends, the LaLeche League leader here in Japan, and my husband who simply wouldn’t let me quit (just like he didn’t let me quit during labor) I feel like we will be able to do this!
Posted on March 19, 2009. 1 comment
We have had Ewan home now for five days and it has been awesome. Sure there have been the ups and downs, the times where we are wondering whether he is getting enough food, or what various noises mean, but for the most part, it has been absolutely amazing.
Over the past five days we have already learned a number of things. We have learned how to swaddle him quickly and efficiently. He loves to be swaddled and he sleeps so much better when he is all wrapped up. Granted before we figured out how to swaddle him we had to practice on his first stuffed animal, sumo-san.
We have gotten slightly better at changing his diapers, although we still struggle with the poopy ones. We have a tendency to think he is finished, slap on a new diaper, only to have him continue pooping before we have even had a chance to close him up.
Nursing is going much better, especially once I learned a few tricks. First, his favorite position to nurse in is a slightly upright one. Also, a damp cloth works wonders to rouse a slightly sleepy baby.
Also, I am learning a bit more about how to follow his cues. Everyday since we have been home he has absolutely refused his 12:00 feeding, preferring to nap through the afternoon. So, now we just feed him a little later and we don’t force him.
Five days in, we are surviving, but more than that we are absolutely head-over-heels in love with our little guy and we are so pleased to be done with the hospital routine. Visiting him in the NICU was so much more exhausting, because of the stress, than having him at home has been so far.
This is the last photo we took at the hospital before leaving for home.
Waiting for the elevator. It was actually a little strange to take him out of the NICU for the first time. Seemed a bit wrong.
Ewan’s first taxi ride to get home.
Ewan wearing his entirely too big hat. Actually, everything that we have for Ewan is entirely too big.
At home resting peacefully.
Now that we have him home, the real fun has started! Let the games begin!
On Monday night the nurses seemed quite optimistic that Ewan would be out of his incubator and in his bed on Tuesday. Aaron and I let ourselves get a bit carried away with their optimism and we danced the whole way home. Chattering and dreaming about what it would be like to have our baby in our arms as much as we wanted (during visiting hours, of course) the following day. We both went to bed with smiles on our faces, anxiously awaiting the next day.
Imagine the fall out then, when we got a call Tuesday morning saying that he wouldn’t be able to be out as we had thought. We had let ourselves get so excited that we were immediately sent crashing into the ground. In many ways that is the way this journey has been for the past 9 days. Moments of pure exhilaration and joy, followed quickly by stress and sadness. Fortunately, as Ewan progresses it seems that the exhilarating and joyful moments are starting to vastly outnumber the others. Thankfully.
So, Tuesday was a rough day, but the memory of that day was quickly erased when we got the call Wednesday morning saying that he was out! He was free! Finally!!
His breathing is good. His eating/sucking is good. Everything seems fine. Now he just has to spend a few days in the hospital in his bed so they can make sure the transition goes well. I am able to breastfeed him three times each day during visiting hours and it is so good to get that started. He is slow and I am learning, so it will definitely take us awhile to figure it all out, but I am more confident now that it will come. We just need to be patient with one another.
I was amazed at how much holding him and having him try to nurse has already impacted my supply. During each pumping session before being able to nurse him I was able to get out between 4-6 ml of milk. During my first pumping session after nursing him three times yesterday I was able to get 17 ml. Fantastic!
I think the nurses thought I was a little bit crazy yesterday. I spent nearly six hours, of the eight hours of visiting time with Ewan. During that entire time I didn’t put him down for a moment, except when Aaron was holding him, of course. It was so nice to have him close and keep him near. It really makes me feel much more like a Mama now that I can have him with me.
Today we get to go for his first bath. The nurses will let us watch today. Tomorrow I will give him his bath and on Saturday Aaron will give it a try. The doctor thinks that he may be discharged sometime this weekend. We can’t wait!
Anyway, here are a few more photos of us. We are so excited that our little man has made such fantastic progress.
Check out the swirly cowlick right on his forehead. Seriously, it is the cutest thing ever!
The second photo of all three of us. We really have to get some better shots of our family.
This is Ewan maxing and relaxing on my lap.
Posted on March 11, 2009. 2 comments
WOW! It is amazing how much can change in just 16 hours. Last night when we left the hospital at 8pm, Ewan still had his oxygen on and was eating through the feeding tube. But today! Oh how much has changed!!
Yup! His oxygen was off today and he has started taking food by mouth. We are bottle feeding him inside the incubator for the time being so that they can carefully monitor his breathing while he was eating. He is quite lazy and sleepy, so finishing off the bottle took a lot of time and patience. Also, since his breathing was so good, he was able to be held by both of us for the first time. It was the most amazing thing ever!
How’s that for a pretty good day?! So, if all continues as it is, it seems as though he will be out of the incubator tomorrow or the following day. The doctor estimates that it will be about 5-7 days before our little man comes home with us. Let the countdown begin!
