Making a life that's more with less.
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On Friday last week I had one last day out in Gifu with the first set of visiting grandparents, my mom (Sue) and Mike. We had some last minute souvenir shopping and sightseeing to do. As a nursing mom, still trying to get the hang of the whole thing, I find that nursing in public is the most difficult. Ewan is still a bit lazy with the latch and needs some guidance from me. This means that before he starts nursing there is a moment or two of exposure before he latches on and covers the important bits. I can easily cover myself with a blanket, but it is still a bit tricky.
So, I find myself scoping out each new location for potential nursing spots everywhere I go. That way, if there is an emergency of sorts, I am sure to be able to find someplace to go to feed my son. On Friday I knew that I was going to be out of the house for an extended period of time and I knew that I would need two, if not three, places to nurse before we returned home.
The first was pretty easy. The four of us went to a nice coffee shop in downtown Gifu and found a table in the back. When we got there there were only two other women in the shop and they were sitting towards the front. When Ewan started to wake and stir I toke him to the bathroom to change his diaper. After that, I returned to the table where I was planning on nursing in the corner discreetly. Well, as soon as I got back to the table I found that there were two more customers in the shop. Two businessmen who had decided to sit right next to the four of us. Perfect! Despite some initial hesitation I did get him latched and nursing and I don’t think anyone really noticed at all, except for our waiter who came to our table a handful of times.
The next out-of-the-house nursing session was even easier, but a bit funnier. We had some time to kill before we went out to dinner and Ewan was starting to get a little hungry. Being in Japan, with guests to entertain, we thought it might be fun to do some karaoke. We went to the Shidax (big karaoke chain in Japan) got our own private room and started the karaoke fun. We ordered the first round of drinks while Aaron was changing Ewan’s diaper. The waitress thought it was a bit odd, but not overly. The next round was delivered while I was nursing. A different waitress came in, set down the drinks, and as she was loading her tray with the empty glasses she looked my way. She was so surprised and startled by the fact that I was nursing my baby that she gave a little start and all the glasses on the tray fell over. I asked her, in Japanese, if everything was ok. She said it was, gave an embarrassed smile, and left our room as quickly as she could manage.
The last bit of extreme nursing was under total distress. We had left our karaoke booth and gone for a walk with Ewan in the carrier to help him fall asleep before we went to dinner. By the time we arrived at the sushi bar he was in a deep, relaxed slumber. We bellied up to the bar and started to eat. He slept through the whole meal and waited until we had exited the restaurant to wake up. Once we were out, he started to wail! With some creative parenting we were able to keep it under control, I danced around the train platform (even though I felt ridiculous), he sucked on my pinky finger, and I sang to him. We made it all the way to our train stop and he decided he just couldn’t wait any longer. We started walking home, at a very quick pace, but his crying was enough to make my head hurt, my heart pound and my boobs leak. Rather than endure that type of stress any longer, I whipped it out. There I was, walking down the road with Ewan nursing. Two things were working in my favor. First of all, it was dark outside and we were walking down a poorly lit residential street. Second, Ewan was in a carrier which made the nursing as discreet as possible. We got home, I looked a little worse for wear, but we all managed to come out alive.
All the plotting and scheming (not to mention, nervousness) that goes along with nursing in public really seems odd. After all, grown people are all able to eat their solid food lunches in public surrounded by other people without a problem. No one bats an eye when babies are given a bottle in public. Yet, when babies are breast-fed in public, getting their food in the most natural way possible, it always seems to cause a stir (or when people talk about breast-feeding in public). I am not saying that women shouldn’t be discreet, I think they should, but I also don’t think that breast-feeding mothers should be housebound because of that choice (the most natural choice for babies). Nor do I think that they should feel obligated to bottle feed in public simply to avoid question or controversy. I don’t really understand when and why breast-feeding became filled with such shame and embarrassment, but I wish it would go away.
Posted on April 28, 2009. 1 comment
Last week Friday Ewan, my mom, and I went to the school where I teach to visit for the afternoon. Now, any new baby would attract some attention at a high school. But with a foreign baby, well, the reaction was more akin to what one might expect for a movie star being discovered unexpectedly by a group of adoring fans.
The exclamations of, “kawaii (cute),” were as plentiful as they were deafening. But I was most impressed with the few students that came up and, spontaneously, busted out their English.
One student was particularly funny. She ran up to me and exclaimed, “He is very very very cute!”
“Wow! Three verys. That’s a lot,” I replied.
Then, with a very serious expression on her face she said, “No! Four verys. He is very very very very cute!”
And, I must say that I agree with her, although I do believe that I am biased. What do you think?
Very very very very cute, eh?
Earlier this week we had our first (at-home) bout of concern over Ewan’s health. He had had an extraordinarily fussy day (he is usually a pretty calm, content baby) and nothing seemed to console him. I was home alone for the day and did my best to pull out all my tricks, walking, singing, dancing, snoozing together, giving him the boob, and nothing seemed to work.
When my mom came back later that afternoon it seemed that, in addition to being fussy, he was also a little on the warm side. So, we decided to take his temperature. This was my first foray into taking the rectal temperature of my little guy and I must admit it was a bit nerve wracking, as every other first has been.
We successfully managed to get a reading, and it was 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit. Just on the edge of what was considered a fever. I cried, did a little freaking out, and then turned to the world’s most knowledgeable source, the internet.
Basically, I found out that that is a pretty low-grade fever and it can often, in little ones, be caused simply by overbundling an infant that has no ability to regulate its’ own body temperature. So, we took off a layer of clothes and decided we would take his temperature a little later on to check the status.
Later when Aaron got home we decided to take the temp again. I had read in one of our baby books about how to properly take a rectal temperature and told Aaron and my mom that sometimes inserting the thermometer can trigger a bowel movement. We all sort of laughed at that thought, or image, and proceeded.
We took off Ewan’s diaper, added a little lubrication to the thermometer to help it slide in nice and easy, and inserted it just until the metal bulb was completely invisible. Then we waited. The numbers started to dance around, slowing climbing up and down, when suddenly Ewan farted. The fart didn’t affect the reading at all and the numbers continued to climb, except that fart was shortly followed by the bowel movement that the baby book had warned us about.
As soon as his little poo squirted out, the thermometer promptly stopped measuring the temperature and instead flashed a giant “Err” on its’ screen, indicating that an error had occured. Yes, I would definitely agree, there was an error.
We cleaned him up and started the process again. This time without the promised bowel movement and got a new reading. This time, a healthy, normal temperature of 99.7 degrees. Phew!
Posted on April 19, 2009. 1 comment
As we all become more comfortable as a family and more comfortable with nursing, specifically nursing outside of the home, we have been able to have more outings. At first, our outings were carefully planned. They were short outings that could be accomplished between feedings, this meant that we were only able to leave the house for an hour to an hour and a half, which was obviously limiting. Now that I am more confident about nursing discreetly in public, we have been able to extend our outings and on Saturday we had the longest one yet! We were out of the house from about 1:00 in the afternoon to almost 7:45 at night.
We went to Gifu Park to enjoy the nice weather and see the cherry blossoms. Sadly, the cherry blossoms were just about finished, but we still had a marvelous time.
And, with the beautiful weather, a very agreeable baby, and some nice natural light, we were able to take some really nice pictures!
Posted on April 13, 2009. 1 comment
Two days ago was Ewan’s official due date. It is hard to believe that he was only supposed to come a few days ago, and already he has been in our lives for more than a month. Those first tough weeks are slowly becoming a distant memory and we are just so thankful that he is here, safe, and we are well on our way to being a bonded and connected family of three.
I am also thankful that I didn’t have to push out Ewan at his current size, if I did I’m not sure that I would have been able to achieve the unmedicated, vaginal delivery that I had.
At Ewan’s one-month check-up on April 6th, the day before his due date, we found out how big he is now. Let’s compare shall we . . .
At birth Ewan weighed 2,960 grams, now he is 3,370 grams.
At birth Ewan was 47 cm tall, now he is 52.3 cm tall.
At birth Ewan’s head was 32.5 cm, now it is 36.5 cm. (This is the part that really makes me glad I had him when I did, 4 more cm, that’s significant!)
At birth Ewan’s chest was 32 cm, now it is 34 cm.
In terms of the month, Ewan’s weight gain is a little slow. But we went through a lot there in the beginning, so that is to be expected. Since his last check-up, 12 days prior, he gained 300 grams. This seems to be in the realm of normal. Average weight gain for breastfed babies is about 170 grams per week, the hospital would like him to be gaining 30 grams per day.
In terms of height, he is growing a little faster than normal. The average growth is about 2.5 cm per month, whereas Ewan grew more than 5 cm. Wow!
The head growth is usually about 1.27 cm per month in the first six months, Ewan’s head increased by 4 cm.
So it seems we are going to have a long, lanky baby with a big head. That seems a bit familiar . . . It also seems possible that all this is a little off and different because of his prematurity. It will be interesting to watch him grow and develop as time passes.
Our next appointment will be on May 11th at the hospital, again. Since he was gaining a little slower than they would have liked they want us to come back again before releasing us, and him, to seek care at a pediatric clinic. I wish they weren’t so concerned, and so fixated on the numbers and averages. It is frustrating because it makes me question my body and my ability to feed my son. Especially when, after only a few weeks of exclusive nursing, the doctor already suggested that I supplement with formula, even though he is doing fine, eating well, growing and in generally good spirits.
I don’t quite understand why doctors are so eager to do that, especially when women, and their bodies, have been so capable of providing for infants for the entirety of human history. I would understand if my baby was not growing and not thriving, but he so clearly is. Also, it is frustrating that the medical profession doesn’t seem to know, or understand, current research about breastfeeding. I get upset when I feel like I know more than they do on the topic, but I also have a hard time ignoring or disregarding the advice of medical professionals when it is given. But, at the same time, I see absolutely no reason to follow their advice and interfere with what Ewan and I have going on, when it isn’t necessary to do so.
So, at the moment, I am a tad frustrated. I haven’t started supplementing with formula, I see no reason to do so, and we are just continuing as we have been. He seems to be going through some sort of growth spurt because he has been wanting to nurse a lot more frequently for the past few days. I will cross my fingers that he continues to grow, and thrive, and that the doctors will be satisfied at the next appointment with how much he has gained, even if it doesn’t fit into their narrow definition of what is normal and ok.
Posted on April 9, 2009. 4 comments
Where has the time gone?! Hard to believe it has already been one whole month. But it has been a wonderful month (aside from that rocky bit at the beginning) and we are so glad to have been through it.
Here’s to many more months where Ewan continues to bring us joy and wonder and amazement as we watch him change and grow. Although, we hope that all the months don’t go quite as fast as this one!
