On Friday last week I had one last day out in Gifu with the first set of visiting grandparents, my mom (Sue) and Mike. We had some last minute souvenir shopping and sightseeing to do. As a nursing mom, still trying to get the hang of the whole thing, I find that nursing in public is the most difficult. Ewan is still a bit lazy with the latch and needs some guidance from me. This means that before he starts nursing there is a moment or two of exposure before he latches on and covers the important bits. I can easily cover myself with a blanket, but it is still a bit tricky.
So, I find myself scoping out each new location for potential nursing spots everywhere I go. That way, if there is an emergency of sorts, I am sure to be able to find someplace to go to feed my son. On Friday I knew that I was going to be out of the house for an extended period of time and I knew that I would need two, if not three, places to nurse before we returned home.
The first was pretty easy. The four of us went to a nice coffee shop in downtown Gifu and found a table in the back. When we got there there were only two other women in the shop and they were sitting towards the front. When Ewan started to wake and stir I toke him to the bathroom to change his diaper. After that, I returned to the table where I was planning on nursing in the corner discreetly. Well, as soon as I got back to the table I found that there were two more customers in the shop. Two businessmen who had decided to sit right next to the four of us. Perfect! Despite some initial hesitation I did get him latched and nursing and I don’t think anyone really noticed at all, except for our waiter who came to our table a handful of times.
The next out-of-the-house nursing session was even easier, but a bit funnier. We had some time to kill before we went out to dinner and Ewan was starting to get a little hungry. Being in Japan, with guests to entertain, we thought it might be fun to do some karaoke. We went to the Shidax (big karaoke chain in Japan) got our own private room and started the karaoke fun. We ordered the first round of drinks while Aaron was changing Ewan’s diaper. The waitress thought it was a bit odd, but not overly. The next round was delivered while I was nursing. A different waitress came in, set down the drinks, and as she was loading her tray with the empty glasses she looked my way. She was so surprised and startled by the fact that I was nursing my baby that she gave a little start and all the glasses on the tray fell over. I asked her, in Japanese, if everything was ok. She said it was, gave an embarrassed smile, and left our room as quickly as she could manage.
The last bit of extreme nursing was under total distress. We had left our karaoke booth and gone for a walk with Ewan in the carrier to help him fall asleep before we went to dinner. By the time we arrived at the sushi bar he was in a deep, relaxed slumber. We bellied up to the bar and started to eat. He slept through the whole meal and waited until we had exited the restaurant to wake up. Once we were out, he started to wail! With some creative parenting we were able to keep it under control, I danced around the train platform (even though I felt ridiculous), he sucked on my pinky finger, and I sang to him. We made it all the way to our train stop and he decided he just couldn’t wait any longer. We started walking home, at a very quick pace, but his crying was enough to make my head hurt, my heart pound and my boobs leak. Rather than endure that type of stress any longer, I whipped it out. There I was, walking down the road with Ewan nursing. Two things were working in my favor. First of all, it was dark outside and we were walking down a poorly lit residential street. Second, Ewan was in a carrier which made the nursing as discreet as possible. We got home, I looked a little worse for wear, but we all managed to come out alive.
All the plotting and scheming (not to mention, nervousness) that goes along with nursing in public really seems odd. After all, grown people are all able to eat their solid food lunches in public surrounded by other people without a problem. No one bats an eye when babies are given a bottle in public. Yet, when babies are breast-fed in public, getting their food in the most natural way possible, it always seems to cause a stir (or when people talk about breast-feeding in public). I am not saying that women shouldn’t be discreet, I think they should, but I also don’t think that breast-feeding mothers should be housebound because of that choice (the most natural choice for babies). Nor do I think that they should feel obligated to bottle feed in public simply to avoid question or controversy. I don’t really understand when and why breast-feeding became filled with such shame and embarrassment, but I wish it would go away.








