born.in.japan

Wordless Wednesday

Growing Pains

My little babe is only four and a half months old and already I am feeling the tug at my heart as he grows and moves, ever so slowly, away from being my little babe.

The most recent tug was last night as Aaron and I were packing suitcases to come back to the States. We had all of our bags packed, only to realize that we still had a huge heap of stuff we wanted left over. The only solution was to empty it all out again, sort through, and make more choices.

In one bag I had all of Ewan’s baby clothes, all the tiny little things that he has already outgrown. Little onesies and miniature socks. Little things that have tell-tale spit-up stains. Little things that don’t fit him anymore. I am surprised at how sad I got just looking at those tiny little things, remembering how small he was before, and how big he is now. But it really made me cry as I ever-so-reluctantly put some of those tiny little things into the “if we have extra room” pile.

I know that they can be replaced if and when we decide to have a second. I know that it doesn’t entirely make sense to move gross, stained onesies across the great wide ocean. My mind knows it, my heart is having a hard time getting on board.

I guess this is just the beginning of letting go. I know it is our job as parents to put ourselves out of a job, raise him so that he is independent and confident and doesn’t need us anymore, but I didn’t think that it would start so soon. And I just don’t know if I am ready for it.

I guess it is wise to start with the onesies, learn how to let those go, and work upwards as time progresses. Good thing I get to start with tiny steps.

Nursing is Normal

I love the internet, specifically, I love following links. It’s a magical treasure hunt; you never quite know where you’re going to end up and, often, you don’t remember where you started.

Recently I ended up finding a link to the original Nursing is Normal project. I’m not sure how I found it, but I was sure glad that I did. I was even more excited once I found a link to the slideshow over on Mothering. As I watched the beautiful photographs of women nursing in various, everyday places flashing across the screen, I was amazed, inspired, and found myself wishing that I could have been a part of it.

Imagine my surprise, and joy, to find that another photographer and breastfeeding advocate is doing another project in one of my all-time-favorite cities, Madison. And that the project will still be going on when we come back to the States.

As fast as my little fingers could take me, I went over to the Contact Us page and typed in my inquiry. Hoping that I would be able to participate.

I can’t tell you how excited I was when I woke up this morning, less than 24 hours after sending the inquiry, to find an email from the photographer, Lea, saying that my email caught her eye and that she would love to do a shoot with Ewan and I.

So, sometime during our visit in August, Ewan and I will be photographed nursing at Olbrich Gardens, the site where Aaron and I got married six years ago. I think it will be an awesome chance to go back to where our family began with the newest addition. I also hope that the photos that Lea will take during our session will help to accomplish the guiding mission of the project, to help nursing women, and other members of the public, realize that nursing is normal, that it needn’t be kept private, in ones’ home.

Thanks Lea for the chance!

Wordless Wednesday

All This Time

A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked how I manage to get all this stuff done. There’s been a new design on the blog, blankets are getting finished, sweaters are getting made, posts are getting written. All while we have a new baby and are preparing to leave Japan in a few weeks, what gives?

Well, I don’t really have many secrets, so I’ll fill you in. It’s simple really, you just have to follow my three-part plan.

Step 1: Have a baby. Preferably a very sleepy baby. This will keep you home for most of the day and while the baby is sleeping, either on the bed or in a carrier, you will have ridiculous amounts of time in which to get things done while you are ignoring the hideously large stack of dishes and heaps of laundry.

Step 1.5: Don’t let your baby totally change your life. Yes, the baby is important, but so is the mama and papa. It is important that both mama and papa have lives, interests, and hobbies. Having and keeping those interests alive will not only keep you sane, but they will also help your babe, and eventually, young child realize that they are NOT the center of your universe and that you, too, are a unique, whole person.

Step 2: Have no or very few friends near where you live. Seriously, friends are a huge time suck. Get rid of them, or move far far away, and your time will be freed up to do all those things that your heart desires.

Step 3: Stop waiting for huge swaths of time with which you can pursue your creative endeavors. Instead, take each chunk of time, no matter how small, and do your best to fill it with something you love. Have a spare five minutes? That’s more than enough to work a few rows on a baby sweater. Ten? You can totally get a blog post up in that time. Fifteen? Well, why not draw or read or do something else that requires a bit more time to do it justice. Three hours, while the baby naps? Well, the world is your oyster, but if you have that much time, you should probably at least get the dishes done.

Yes, I am getting a lot done. Yes, I have a lot of time to do various things about the house. Yes, I am feeling really inspired and creative and enjoying the time and freedom that I have to pursue those whims. Yes, sometimes I love this arrangement, it satisfies my inner homebody, but, no, I don’t love it all the time.

Especially the no friends part. The tricky thing about this stay-at-home mom gig, while in Japan, is that all the friends I have/had that speak my language, well they have jobs, regular ones, during the day. So, I could go out during the day, and I have, but let’s face it, it’s just not as much fun going out to lunch or shopping or to visit a temple or even to the grocery store when you’re all by yourself.

Side note – This no friends thing, it is definitely something I am looking forward to remedying when we are back and settled in Chicago. As odd and unnatural as it seems, I have started to formulate a plan on how I can find friends, mom friends, that also don’t work during the day. We will see how it goes.

So, for better or worse, I usually just stay home during the day, until Aaron gets home at night. And, when I am home all day, I have a lot of time, sometimes too much.

So long as I use that time to do good, worthwhile things, I usually feel pretty satisfied. It is when I fall into the trap of doing something useless or unproductive (erm…facebook) during my freetime that I really beat myself up. It’s the days where I have spent a vast majority of my time staring at the computer screen, rather than even blogging or writing myself, that I feel disappointed, unsatisfied, and useless.

So, that is my challenge to myself. To continue trying to fill my freetime with things that either contribute to the family, or to the raising of my son, or at the very least fill me with joy and happiness. If it doesn’t, then it should go.

Introducing Sheldon!

This is Sheldon. I saw the pattern online awhile back and thought that it was awfully cute, but I didn’t know if I had the patience to make something so fiddly. Luckily, I didn’t have to!

A dear friend here in Japan gave Ewan the turtle yesterday and we couldn’t have been more excited. As soon as I saw him, I squealed, “It’s Sheldon!”

She thought of everything. The eyes are embroidered, rather than buttons, making him baby safe. It is stuffed with organic cotton, she knew that the babe most certainly will be putting this little guy in his mouth. And the yarn is superwash wool, so the whole thing can be thrown right into the laundry. Perfect!

We introduced Ewan and Sheldon this morning. At first he was ambivalent.

Then, a bit scared.

Finally, after spending a few moments getting acquainted, they became friends.

I do believe it’s a friendship that is going to last a long, long time.

Wordless Wednesday

The Creative Family

Long before I got pregnant, long before we even started thinking about it, actually, I discovered the blogger, SouleMama, through a link on another site.

It didn’t take long, even though I wasn’t yet a parent myself, to be inspired. Her photography, her positive take on life, her creativity by herself and with her children, it’s all good. When she first mentioned her book project, I was excited knowing that it was something I would want to get my hands on someday. Then, once the book finally was finished, I just couldn’t quite bring myself to buy it.

After all, it was summer of 2007 and Aaron and I had just moved to Japan. We were, it seemed, ages away from having our own creative family. And buying the book seemed, well, a little premature. So, I didn’t buy it, but it never left my mind.

Once our little guy got here I knew it was my chance. Finally, I had a reason, albeit a very small one, to buy the book. Sure, it will be a while before we can actually start doing many of the things in it, but just having it and reading it makes me feel ready, excited, and, most importantly, inspired.

Once my copy arrived, I set aside everything else that I was reading at the moment and read it cover-to-cover in a matter of days. It is chock full of great creative ideas, I especially love the idea of the Family Draw and Art Wire for making children’s, and adults for that matter, art an important part of family life and home.

While not everything in the book made my list of things that I LOVE, a lot of it did. While I won’t be able to implement many of these ideas for quite some time, I feel like I learned a lot from the book and, already, it is impacting the way I am thinking of myself and the way I think about what I want our family life to look like. (And it has heavily influenced a project that I am in the process of working out.) Certainly many of the ideas will influence the way we set up our new home in the States and the choices we make about what we choose to surround ourselves with.

Overally, I thoroughly enjoyed the book and can’t wait to read the next one, although I will be waiting until I get stateside to pick that one up. Already I’m not sure that we can fit everything that we have here in our limited suitcase space and another book certainly wouldn’t help.

Celebrating – Anniversaries

Keeping with a tradition that started on our first wedding anniversary, we packed our suitcase and got away last weekend to celebrate our 6th. In years past, it has just been the two of us celebrating our wedding anniversary together. This year was the first year that we celebrated together as a family. While it felt a bit strange to have a third person with us on what has historically been a private affair, it was good, really good and truly reflected where we are right now.

This year we made our way to Kanazawa, a good-sized city on the Japan Sea side. We ate good food, we saw some sights and we spent three days of quality time together without interruptions.

Traveling with our babe definitely changed things. We had to slow down a bit and take some time to just sit on the grass and relax together. I must say that I really enjoyed the relaxed pace, the time to sit down and take it all in, together.

While we didn’t get a chance to see everything, sadly we missed the Samurai village, we did get to see a lot of things.

And, most importantly, we got to see a lot of each other, remind ourselves about all that we love in one another and now in our family, and start this next year off on the right foot.

Steeped in Culture

As promised, here is part three of my series about co-sleeping.

Rather than start with a discussion about the differences in sleeping habits between the two countries I have the most experience with (Japan and U.S.), I thought it would be more interesting to begin with a discussion of one fundamental aspect of the culture which, I believe, influence many things present in the culture, including where and how babies sleep.

Despite the fact that the U.S. and Japan are both industrialized nations, there is a stark difference between the two societies and how they view the individual. In Japan little emphasis is placed on the individual. Rather, the society is based on a group mentality, collectivism, and, as a result, people often sacrifice their own, individual gain for the sake of the group.

Obviously, this is quite different from the United States where the opposite is true. One of the most tightly held values in the U.S. is the value of the individual. In fact, studies show that the U.S. is the most individualistic country of all the countries in the world. I am not sure where Japan falls on the perspective of collectivist nations, but after spending two years here, I can say that the group mentality is strong. Therefore, the U.S. and Japan are at virtual opposite ends of the spectrum which means that any number of things are different simply due to their vastly different ways of thinking.

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