Where are the Rainbows? | born.in.japan

Yesterday was a tough day. It was one of the few where, honestly, I didn’t LOVE my job as a mama. Ewan was fussy, fussier than he has ever been and he oscillated from happy to meltdown cranky faster than an Indy 500 car. He wouldn’t sleep, even though he needed it. And my magic bullet, nursing, didn’t even work.

But, even on the worst of days, there were moments of sunshine and light. In a last ditch effort, we went to the park to ride on the swings and, despite his unusually negative attitude towards everything, he had a good time. If only we could have stayed there the whole day . . .

I know it isn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows, this mothering gig. And I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I am. I feel guilty when I am not as kind or understanding as I think I should be to him. I feel frustrated when I can’t figure out what is bothering him or, even better, how to fix it. I feel disappointed when we just don’t seem to enjoy each others company.

I guess my job, just like jobs that are outside the home, sucks sometimes. And during those times, I just have to keep on moving, do my best, get through it, and wake up to a, hopefully, better day. (Now if only I could really, truly make myself believe this last part.)

http://thesweetnest.blogspot.com/ Anna

Oh, those long, long days! Those babes are so delicious but so very much work. I do hope you get a chance to rest this holiday season and just soak up all the goodness in spite of the exhaustion. Best wishes!

[Reply]
Virginia

When they are little babes, you two really are one, but as they grow, they become separate little people, with their own opinions and moods. And so you aren’t always going to be in sync. With my three, there was always one kid who drove me crazy at the time. Fortunately, the role of crazymaker alternated among them, so they all survived and so did I.

[Reply]