Yesterday was not one of those days. Ewan did not want to play. He wanted to be entertained. And I was at a bit of a loss.

So, I turned to Pinterest. Specifically my “with the kiddos” board. (oh, and if you want to follow me over there, there is a neat little button in my sidebar. see it?)

Five minutes later we had a jug filled with cut up pipe cleaners and a few magnets.

Ewan was thrilled.

And so was I.

Happy kiddo. Happy mama.

What have you done with the kiddos lately for fun? Any other tricks I should have up my sleeve?

I’d seen the idea in a variety of places (oh, thank you, pinterest) and decided that this year was the year to give it a go.

Each day. One card. A sentence or two about the day. Same cards year after year. Simple. Easy.

I already do so much documenting. Here on the blog. Through the copious quantity of photos that I take. But something about this line-a-day perpetual journal is different. Something about it feels so much more real and concrete. More personal.

While this year is the least rewarding, I imagine that next year and in the years that follow adding to the journal will be such a treat. Getting a chance to not only document a short line about the day, but also having the chance, at a quick glance, to see what I had been doing in years past.

Right now it is just me and a small stack of index cards. I’d like to pretty it up soon, like they showed over on design sponge:

And, actually, I’d really like to get Ewan in on the daily journal action. I’m just not quite sure how to include him yet… Any ideas?

wait…

(checks calendar)

it’s January?!?!

51 degrees and sunny. In January.

It is wonderful. Glorious. But slightly off-putting. It’s supposed to be winter, after all.

I’ve got loads.

And they’re all written down on a list. (I’m sure you’re shocked)

But then as I’ve kept reminding myself to pop into this space and share my little list, it all started to seem a bit ridiculous. (sound familiar?)

Truth be told, last year wasn’t quite the year that I had hoped.

I had a birth that I still struggle to deal with some days. The resulting little guy is absolutely amazing, though. And now 10 months out I can at least separate the babe from the birth.

I had a rough patch as I adjusted to being a mama to two. A long, rough patch.

My husband was hit by a car.

But now, well, things are really looking up.

My husband is improving day-by-day.

My boys are growing in crazy cool ways at break neck speed.

I’ve adjusted, a bit better, to meeting both of their needs.

And let’s not forget my own.

So, really, life is pretty good and I’m pretty pleased with it all.

And I’d actually be ok if it all just stayed just like it is now. Just like it was today. Writing letters with my boy, cuddling with the babe, making cookies and eating them, printing during nap time.

I know that it can’t stay just like it is now, these boys will grow through the year and will be so very much different come 2013. But I’d like the feeling to stay the same. I’d like to try to manage to stay present with them and with my husband, while also continuing to carve out time for myself and my endeavors. I’d like to continue to try to move through our days with grace, without getting as overwhelmed or short-tempered as I’ve been prone to in the past. I’d like to laugh and smile and have fun and really sink my teeth into this year.

I’d like for 2012 to be grand. To be filled to the brim with greatness.

And I’d like to continue sharing that greatness with all of you.

Happy 2012 to you and yours. Grab onto it, hold tight, it’s going to be fast.

So. Delicious.

So. Simple.

So. Dangerous.

Because now when that egg nog craving strikes, I know I can just go in the kitchen and make some.

Just like biscuits and gravy.

I’m powerless to resist the pull.

How about you?

Enjoy the holiday, my friends. I’ll be checking in with pictures and few words over the next two weeks. Well be savoring our holiday, visits with family and a little road trip too.

We both cried.

“He’s a little heavier than I remember,” Aaron says.

A short ride. In the fall. All by myself. Wearing my favorite scarf. Riding Roxy, because my other bike has a flat.

I recently made a comment that I’m not good at “playing” with my boys. I’m good at reading. I’m good cooking with them. I’m good at integrating them into life. But I’ve never felt like I’m very good at getting down unto the floor and playing. The person I said this to had a very simple answer, you just don’t have the right toys.

Turns out she is right. We got a set of Kapla blocks as a gift for my husband’s birthday. And, well, I can’t get enough of them. Ewan loves them too.

Here’s to finding new and better toys. Do you all have any recommendations?

Now, as promised, let’s go back to the lollipops and rainbows. Which seems appropriate because today was, truly, a lollipops and rainbows sort of day.

halloween felt board fun. i am in LOVE with his Ewan’s jack-o-lanterns.
new books. his first one with chapters.
knitting strewn about the house. this whole family needs new slippers.
xander, my gregarious confident little guy.
a new “dry-erase” board.
birks in october.
Yellow!!
our new wedding rings, an eighth anniversary present to ourselves. (made by stout woodworks)
the way some trees just drop leaves faster than others. like they are in a rush for winter.

You see, for the past few months (ahem, has it been that long?), I’ve been feeling a bit off. A bit down. A bit anxious.

I’ve, largely, kept it to myself. Putting on a smile around friends. Saying all was well when checking in with family. Thinking that I could fake it till I made it.

Well, I’ve been doing a whole lot of faking, and not a whole lot of making, and it is time to get REAL. Time to reach out to this fantastic online community and my in-real-life community, as well. Time to admit that the image I project isn’t quite jiving with reality. Time to admit that I could use some advice and some perspective.

That’s where you all come in. And there are a few key places where I could really use some help and advice.

First, you’ve probably heard the phrase or seen the poster that, “good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens….and happy kids.”

Image via mamafield over on etsy

Well, I have some of the dirtiest floors and biggest stacks of dishes you’ve ever seen. While the kids may be happy, I am miserable. Those dirty floors make me cringe as Xander is starting to crawl. Each time I brush off the bottom of my feet because they are caked with cheerios or any number of other things, I get frustrated. The dishes stacked in heaps on my very limited counter-space drive me crazy. These un-done household tasks make me anxious. I lay awake thinking of all that needs to be done, all that should have been done, all that didn’t get done, rarely focusing on all that did get done.

So, friends, help me out. Give me your tips for streamlining the housekeeping. Give me your tips for quick cleaning fixes. Give me your tips for getting things done that need to be done (without quitting doing the things that actually make me happy – sewing, knitting, playing, writing, printing).

Next, I’d love your tips for getting out with two little ones in tow. So often I find the hassle of it all overwhelming. And since Xander left that uber-sleepy-newborn stage we just haven’t been getting out as much as we had been, as much as I’d like to. The diapers, the snacks, the unknown toilet locations. Wrangling a spirited two-year-old while tending a babe. Sitting, nursing a babe while entertaining a toddler. With 7 months as a mama-of-two under my belt, it seems I’d have this down by now, but I don’t. Help me out.

And finally, I’d love your tips for letting go. It seems so easy. I just shouldn’t let that stack of dishes bother me. I shouldn’t worry about the pile of books in the living room that really should be donated. I shouldn’t let thoughts of bills creep into my mind as I’m reading “Sammy the Seal.” But I do.

Image via HoneyBoo over on etsy

So, help me out. Give me your tips, tricks. Give me your shoulder. Let’s be real here, but not always.

Tomorrow we’ll go back to sunshine and rainbows. Because, really, as hard as this is, as anxious as I’m feeling, it’s still a pretty cool gig. I still get to hang out with two of the coolest small people I know and I am really grateful for that.