Preparing for Babe – The New Room

Another step and more progress was made toward making room, literally, for our newest little babe this weekend.

A room was made. Well, a room was redone.

Now our second bedroom, rather than being a cardboard fort room (which was awesome, and still is a part of our living room), is an actual bedroom. Perfect for little people and perfect for Ewan.

Having this second room ready changes everything. Now, all of a sudden, he has his own space to sleep in and we are starting to see that he might, actually, do that someday. Someday he may not be sleeping in our room. Someday when he is ready (and we are too). Someday.

I should give you a better update on our sleeping situation, how our cosleeping has evolved and what our plans are for the next month before the babe and what our plans are for after this babe arrives. Maybe that’ll be on deck for next week…

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An Unlikely Lovey

We’ve been in a sort of temperature battle around here. I’m on the side of keeping things chilly, putting on extra layers. First of all, we have a big space and we’re paying to heat it now (I’m a not-so-closet-cheapskate). Second, well, I have this little incinerator growing in my belly and I run hot. Third, well, it’s good for the Earth, right?!

Unfortunately, the two boys I happen to live with aren’t closet-cheapskates and they don’t run nearly so hot as I do. Though I think they do love the Earth.

Even with my strict temperature regimen (62 during the day and 52 at night), I’m often a little warm and flushed. Aaron and Ewan, on the other hand, are frequently bundled and still a bit chilly. During the day we have been managing, but nighttime was a struggle.

Even with flannel footy pajamas, Ewan was still a bit chilly. He hates sleeping with covers. Kicks them off and wakes up all ornery if you try to cover him up. No good. He would seek heat by snuggling in, but he could only get so close and he was still a bit too cool to sleep comfortably.

Enter the fleece sleep suit.

It keeps him warm and keeps him from waking at night because he is too chilly. There are still a million other reasons he wakes at night, yes we’re still fighting that battle, but at least we’ve eliminated one of them.

While I expected that the suit would work to keep him warm, I didn’t expect him to get so attached to it.

I’ve posted, previously, about the fact that Ewan doesn’t have a lovey and that was, partly, by design. Loveys are easy to lose and, when cosleeping, they really aren’t necessary. Parents are loveys.

I thought we were golden. At almost two years old without an attachment item in sight, I thought we had passed that stage. Wrong!

Ewan decided. His sleep suit is his lovey. He loves it. He is eager to put it on at night, reluctant to get out of it in the morning, and won’t go to sleep without it at nap time. While he doesn’t get all suited up for his nap, he has to snuggle it. If we forget, he cries out, “suit,” in the smallest, most pathetic little voice he can muster.

For now we only have the one, I’ve been thinking that it might be a good idea to pick up a spare, just in case. I’m not sure how long this attachment will last, or what we’ll do when the suit just doesn’t fit (or when spring comes and the suit becomes massive overkill). I suppose we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

For now, his suit is his lovey but I like to think that Aaron and I are as well. He has three. Lucky little man.

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My Seven

Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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The carnival topic this month is a tough one for me. Because, when it comes to parenting, I’m not sure that I’ve inspired anyone. If I have, I don’t now, nor may I ever know.

As nice as it would be, it isn’t everyday that someone walks up and says, “Wow! You really inspire me.” But, maybe it should. Maybe we should let people know that they inspire us. Maybe we should toot their horns and give credit where credit is due. Now that I think about it, yes, we should.

With that in mind, I’d like to take a moment to share a few of the people that have inspired me on my parenting journey. The people that have helped me to become the natural parenting mama that I am today.

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Help a Mama Out

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing letters to ask our readers for help with a current parenting issue. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Dear Readers,

I fear I may be opening the proverbial can of worms. I’m about to ask you for advice on what I have come to believe is the most controversial topic of conversation when it comes to parenting little ones.

Sleep.

I wouldn’t ask unless we really needed the help. After all, I’ve found that it’s usually best to just slap on an extra thick coating of concealer and pretend that things are fine. “How’s he sleeping,” they ask. “Fine, just fine,” I reply through gritted teeth. But since this month’s natural parenting blog carnival is all about asking for parenting advice, I decided to wash the makeup off, stop pretending, and admit the truth.

We’re having trouble sleeping around here.

Some background Information

My babe is 13 months old. He was born at 35 weeks and after a short stint in the NICU he was exclusively breastfed for six months. Now he is an enthusiastic eater and loves a wide range of foods. We haven’t noticed any particular sensitivities to foods in his diet, aside from pineapple and, perhaps, hummus.

He visited the doctor last week and all his exams were clear. Medically speaking, he seems just as fine as can be. He doesn’t have any teeth yet, and there don’t seem to be any that are imminent.

His general demeanor is pleasant. He smiles a lot. Laughs some. He runs around and plays. He rarely cries or fusses.

He does not now, nor has he ever “slept through the night.” We accept that nighttime parenting and parenting our babe to sleep are part of the gig. We aren’t, necessarily, looking for those things to go away completely.

That being said, if all was well, I wouldn’t be writing for advice now, would I?

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Happy Dancing

There’s been a bit of happy dancing around these parts for the past few days and I’ve been eager to share.

Book. Book. Book. Book. Book.

No, not my own book. (A wish, a dream, a someday). But someone else’s book.

My writing. My essay. In print. In a real, live book scheduled to be released later this month.

Now do you understand the happy dancing?!

I caught wind of the essay contest just days before the deadline via my twitter feed (yes, I succumbed. I am on twitter now) and I was so excited to enter. And, now, I’m ever so glad I did.

Know why?

Because my essay’s going to be in a book. book. book. book. (Yes, there was totally more happy dancing there.)

Alright, enough of that.

Anyways, there are a bunch of essays and a bunch of contest winners. Hobomama’s been kind enough to list them on her site here.

The whole books filled with feel-good essays about co-sleeping and I can’t wait to get my hands on it and read them all. Especially after getting a taste here, and here, and here.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is the essay I submitted:

When I close my eyes and imagine where my son sleeps, I see a peaceful nursery with a crib at the center of it all. As I peer into our reality, I see a single bed to share, a sophisticated black platform made entirely unsophisticated by the addition of two mesh side rails. One year spent co-sleeping has not erased the disconnect in my mind between the imagined and reality.

I was born and raised in the United States where cribs are the norm and anything else is an anomaly. Talk to other parents, watch movies, read books; the message is clear, babies sleep in cribs. It wasn’t until I was pregnant and gave birth in Japan that I questioned this pervasive assumption.

In Japan, by contrast, co-sleeping is the norm. Discovering this forced me to reconsider my taken-for-granted notions of where babies sleep, the American ideal of forcing sleep independence on the youngest among us, and the necessity of cribs. Ultimately, it gave me the confidence to trust my instincts and bring my babe to bed.

Less than a week after our little one, a preemie, came home, we started sleeping with him. We were comforted by his presence, reassured that he was doing okay. He was comforted by us, with easy access to warmth, love, and milk. Now, more than a year later, he is still in our bed, cuddled up between us. Sharing the bed, with the entire family, feels so right.

Happy dance. Happy dance. Happy dance.

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